The Biscuit Will Miss His Cris...

Jay-Z has given up Cristal, and with good reason. As it happens, my current daily consumption of “Cris” is seven cases a day. Now, I know what you’re thinking—is this all the champagne C-Biscuit buys daily? Heck no, my delicate palate requires variety. Pack on seven cases of Dom and you’re on the money. Do I drink it all? Please. At least half of it goes into bathing. Another quarter has to be dolled out to my posse, leaving me with only about 4 cases for personal consumption. It’s not all imbibed while partying, or held opposite my mic wielding hand, while on stage, feeling my flow. Little known fact—Cris is delicious on cheerios.

This leads to a tricky question… if I support Jay-Z’s position, should I cut out Cris from both my consumption, and my lyrics?

Will I never again be able to go on stage and spit my rhyme:

Bling on my wrist and bitches on the flo’
Butler’s pourin’ Cris and I’m sayin mo’ mo’!

Or the timeless classic:

My Bentley Limo’s rollin and I’m feelin’ pretty nice
The ladies all love me ‘cause my mouth is full of ice
I’m drinkin’ so much, that every time I piss
It’s ten percent water and the rest is all Cris’

I couldn’t ever touch my lyrics—they don’t belong to me anymore, they belong to the people. So now it comes down to my Cris consumption. I’ve decided that I can’t immediately cut out Cristal cold turkey—this year’s tour cannot be held up while I and my posse are in Cris withdrawal. Therefore I have decided to slowly phase out Cris over a 10 month period—by mid two thousand seven, I will be a strictly Dom and Krug man.

Though my breakfast cereal will never be the same, I’m with Jay-Z, both in spirit, and in action.

Peace-out,

C-Biscuit