SMOKE!

In the last week or so, I have had the overwhelming urge to smoke cigarettes. I attribute this to several factor:

1) German cigarette advertising is AMAZING. Seriously, everything features rugged, outdoorsy figures—a couple who have gone camping, and wake with what appears to be a post-coitus glow, enhanced by the sunrise, a coffee, and a cigarette. What better to complement the beginning of a new day? Ads for menthol cigarettes feature a fresh sprig of mint, still dewy from the morning air. In some ways, the ads are just ubiquitous—every wall is plastered with brands I don’t even know—John Player’s Special, HB, and West. West is especially interesting to me, and not just because it appears to have the same lettering as Newports in the states. From what I understand, Germans are kind of obsessed with the American west (as were we, until the 60’s), which would make the West brand an attempt to connect to sprawling landscapes, manly men and…um…cows?

2) Much like the advertising, smoking itself is ubiquitous. Everyone is lighting up, and everyone in Germany looks healthy—what could be the problem? Octogenarians are lighting up, then doing swing dancing in the park (no joke). Then again, maybe they just look like octogenarians…

3) I need something to do with my mouth, ‘cause it ain’t talking. Again, relating back to language—I can’t speak to people. So when I’m alone, and I don’t have a book or food or something to occupy my time with, something needs to keep me busy. It’s less about the smoke or the look, it’s something to fill the silent gaps with. Maybe I should try gum or carrots.

4) I’ve noted this before—smoking is so freakin’ social! What better way to meet Germans or anyone else at a bar re on the street than to learn the simple phrase “Do you have a light?” (Haben Sie Feuer?) or “Can I have a cigarette?” (Kann ich eine Zigarette?) Further, it works both ways—if you’re out smoking, someone will come and do the same—from what I understand, the tax on any loan like this is that during the minute or two that you’re smoking, you’re partially obligated to stand there and spark up a conversation. Not the same with booze—no one just comes up and asks “can I borrow a pint.” Booze is usually done indoors (yet far less regularly in Germany, a plus), and is far more expensive a gesture.

I’d totally be all over this if it weren’t for the whole cancer thing.